Black and White Notebook #3-05

I take that bad day and push it into a small ball
a dot of ink on this pad
that I use when I'm mad
there are more fads to buy into
no more clothes that don't fit well
I've taken the initiative
this time.
I can watch the blue prints cry with sorrow
thinking of ending their lives and
making no tomorrow
a lot goes into creating the end
rusty blades
frayed ropes
All while I sit back and clear my throat
to watch it all unfold
I sit there holding a tattered tote
filled with rattling pills
I've found a secret door that takes me
to that place in the floor where music and smoke
fills the night air
an illusion is captured in a small glass jar
taken to heart
then thrown real far
my foot hits the black tar
and I cant find my car
its all a dream
you see?
I was just simply
wishing on a
star.

While sitting in my corner I quickly call
the coroner to advise my body is read to order.

Now I'm back
the florescent light shines for attention
as the instructor in the front is about to mention
something about cell division.